My grandpa is talking about laundry and he asked if i could run a "small hot load." Wow. I had to leave the room.
this guy at work is bossing me around at work. He is 24 and still has highlights and spikes his hair.
You're getting bossed around by a 1999 Highschool Yearbook picture?
he was CRYING into my vagina
I promise you I could read that dogs mind, he was arguing with the other dog saying he knows how fucked up I am
Im embracing the luau theme and maybe bringing a kiddie pool filled with alcohol. Im also embracing the high probability I will not remember this night.
You need to stop blackout tweeting at him to have sex with you on the roof of your dorm. He doesn't even have a twitter.
If you two are having sex, stop. I have something really important to ask you about psychics.
Thank you for FINALLY joining the Slutasorus Rex club in this conversation.
I didn't know what happened last night until the bruises in the shape of hands showed up on my boobs. Then it all made sense.
thank you for extending my knowledge of the effects of vodka. speak of what happened last night and i will kill you and send your fingers to your loved ones.
I've never been more scared for my virginity in my life. And I lost my virginity almost 6 years ago.
I just found out who gave her jelly shots. You owe me a new mattress.
Yeah I ended up covered in the mud by the end, in a lady bug golf cart that was blasting jazz music with a dead phone
My booty call is in the theater watching Deadpool right now. Never though comics would work against me.
party at the soccer house. crumbs in my sexy panties. can't. put. pieces. together.
Randomize
