I meant the "stage" gay, Not the "bend me over and call me Gary" gay.
she went to type in rate my professors and rate my pussy came up in my recent searches. needless to say, i will likely be masturbating to the aforementioned site tonight.
I got eye-fucked by an 80 year old man wearing a cowboy hat while I was singing country. How do you think karaoke went?
I have 4 passes to the spa here, walking around with a robe on and putting cucumber slices on my penis. You guys should come hang out here. It's very relaxing
Look, the fact that I didn't kick him out and rip your clothes off speaks very highly of me.
She actually was beyond drunk but she for some reason kept calling herself a demigod and made me drive her to a bookstore
She thinks Jesus was an astronaut.
We've only been here for 15 hours and our names are already on 2 separate police reports. We've also been given our "final warning" by the cops and hotel management.
I'm eating Doritos at 9am because last nights weed is just now starting to wear off
My cat is staring at me while I drink my wine on the bathroom floor in the morning instead of attending class. Sorry mom and dad. Sorry cat.
I can't hang out tomorrow. A boy wants to feed me ice cream and touch my boobs. Priorities.
I had sex with two guys in one day. One on my grandma's couch, one on a golf course. This is the greatest post-surgery accomplishment I could ask for.
I. Love. Skype. Sex.
I think it's just been too long since actual dick has been inside you that you only THINK you love skype sex
I’m going to Lewinsky this place
That makes no sense, but it sounds terrifying
Do not let Mike show you his naughty Santa Claus outfit. It's a super long beard and crotchless pants.
Randomize
