At a sweet 16. cant remember what shirt im wearing byt dnt worry im not sleeping w/ the guy who serves the chicken nuggets again
is her vagina suppost to smell like dirty taco bell?
Just watched 1 guy 1 jar with my mom. Awkwardville...
So at this point...I'm sure you heard the story about Saturday night
the bartender cut you off himself after you started walking on tops of tables and hugging random people
Is it uncouth to have a themed intervention? I know how much you like Star Wars.
My name in their phones is "That Girl". If i can't get it to go away, I might as well live up to it.
So a sorority girl just introduced herself to me by saying "a guy I used to fuck just threw up on me" and then she grinded on me
if Anne Taylor knew what she did in her clothes, she'd be banned from the store.
oh come on, it's the perfect length summer dress to blow a stranger in the bathroom in
we're drinking bellinis i mean god's titty nectar
I am descending into that finals week rage fueled by ramen, mountain dew and bad sex is what's up.
So I'm just casually at the grocery store when I remember that there's still a clove of garlic in my vagina
apparently i came home last night raving about goats and singing songs from muppet treasure island
On a scale of one to Harambe, how attached were you to your goldfish?
she grabed my junk and started making lightsaber noises
I wonder if you could get her in a metal bikini
Randomize
