glad my latex allergy prevents me from being a one-night stand whore
I just peed in my kitchenbs sinlk. New low- maybe. am i embarrassed? Not in the least
let's just say, the carpet matched the drapes. in colour and length.
do you think they ever dumped Gatorade over Michael Vick's head after his dog won?
STOP fucking him and come play in the snow with us!
What happened?....
He lifted up the blanket, and whispered "Don't do it" to his sperm....
She swung at the pinata with crutches
Jus saw ur date getting a bj in the mcdonalds parking lot...u want anything?
It is unclear if my flaming esophagus is hangover induced.
you ran up to the police and said "fuck the police shit we living in hell ". Then you dropped your Margarita and said "Darby Out" lol
he's so hot I'd consider breaking the whole, "till death do us part," agreement he's currently in
Went to bed in my room fully clothed, woke up naked in the kitchen with the dog looking unamused.
Just watched a guy open his car door, puke, close it, and resume driving. Happy Monday.
You seem like the type to go to a craft sale baked out of your mind. I like you.
there is puke in my bra ... again
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