i have yet to find a random guy that would make me want to do any position besides missionary, these are what normal people call "applying standards"
I thought spray tan was a myth
?
You know, something that only happens in Jersey
I closed that bar. Sang every Beatles song in the book. Made Somoan friends.
its always fun the next morning to look around the room and see where all the clothing landed.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just because she blew him doesn't mean she knows his name.
There are drunk kids outside our building hugging that cop that's always on his bike as he's citing them for public drunkenness. It's not even 11 am.
Just realized I lost my social security card...maybe someone else will do something with my life
I walked in on you rubbing your nose all over his face while straddling him and yelling "I'M SO SORRY!" repeatedly. I'd say you were in pretty good shape at that point in the night.
Um...any recollection of peeing in the pantry
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'll be there soon. I expect Advil and a bucket of kittens when I arrive.
BECKY! ITS ANDY FROM LAST NIGHT WITH THE PILL
Andy, Sorry you have the wrong number. But good luck with Becky!
After a few mimosas, my mom started sharing her plans to move out of the house and into a retirement village so she can be the youngest one there and find herself a "nice old sugar daddy." Needless to say, break has not started off well...
I woke up with $140 in twenties in my bra and have never been more puzzled.
you literally stared at me for three minutes and then said "hey this tequila isn't gonna drink itself, boss"
How does one get out of sexting without being rude? I'm trying to watch Downtown Abbey
Randomize