I dont get it-she has sex with me but wont be my facebook friend?
she's like "i'm so proud of u" ... and then i threw up on myself
I just remembered Dan asking me all polite in the middle of sex "do you mind if I get behind you?" that was the most polite way I've been asked to do it doggy style
After giving the pizza guy directions you told him to look for the big stupid looking kid outside in purple
Eventually the creepy theater major quirks will come out. Probably in bed. Like role playing as the Phantom of the Opera
mom found the triscuts in her underwear drawer, its done.
I will blow you tomorrow if you bring me food tonight. Like a payment plan
I really really need to have and out of body experience just so I can talk to myself about this shit that I'm doing with my life.
I just want to meet whoever runs the hall cameras
hahahaha I don't. Watch one day i'll be walking along and someone will stop me and say "oh you're that one girl who is out. of. control." But then they'd probably give me a high five.
I remeber being on the roof last night and we put our heads togeather and we touched each others face and said "Hennessyyyy"
Oh man, are we repeating last 4th of July?!
That shouldn't even be a question, it's a tradition now. Hope your manhood is ready.
Omg one of the midgets from last night just added me to Facebook.
I just spilled a shot of Patron on your mom.. Body shots may be happening. You better get here quick.
Can I just keep holy water in the night stand next to the vibrator?
The first thing I did when I got to the apartment was masturbate on the couch
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