it was all downhill after the free blackjack taco
i wish i could shrink down to the size of his dick so i could just thank it in person.
i love being in ibiza. their hotels are much more receptive to walking around naked in the lobby than our american ones.
Spending my graduation money on an abortion. Welcome to the real world.
He met a random girl on the bus home and decided to go to Spain with her. The blackout decisions are becoming internationally epic. He has work in the morning.
this is you don't wonder off at 3 am with no pants on. Just stay there and pray to god you don't get arrested for being on school property.
Well, practice makes perfect. Let's start playing Eye of the Tiger and do a blowjob training montage.
I learned something last night. Strippers can be on house arrest?
We should hook up after this. Laugh or look horrified to say yes.
My nipple piercings are like the guardrails, that's why they feel so safe.
Today wasn't Sunday Funday, it was more like Sunday god is taking a shit on my life day
If I die tonight, I want you to have the rest of my nachos. And my porn collection.
stoners and superglue do NOT mix
I can't believe you guys got into a sword fight over a chicken nugget
Oh, so that's where all the scratches came from...
If I was banging all the guys that people think I am, I'd quit buying batteries.
Randomize
