All I can tell you is you will need a rain slicker for tonight's festivities. Any clothes underneath would be highly frowned upon as well.
I feel like I'm in a bed a bagels and mistakes.
sleazy september. first one with mono loses.
Check the bible. I hear he keeps his weed in leviticus.
I may have played more drinking games with my family this last week than all of freshman year...
Just realized my relationship wasn't even Facebook official and I'd already cheated on him. 'Shitty girlfriend' is an understatement.
I slept with one of the directors so you would get a good price on the ballroom for your reception. I'm the best MOH. You owe me bitch
11/10 would buy him a McLobster
You know you turned your life around when your drunk eating salad at 3 am on a Friday night
also I can check "jump into a moving car" off my bucket list if that tells you how tonight is going
Talked a police officer into driving us the 1/2 mile home from the bars because we didn't want to walk. I never knew the back of cop Cars had plastic seats.
idk what the male equivelent of vajazzling is but it better be worth the time
just turned another straight guy gay. Goddamn the church must hate me
I’m really regretting these suede pants.
Got electrocuted a second ago, is it weird that I have a boner?
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