i can't wait to go to hell
yeah...all of my friends will be there for sure
Dude. I haven't taken a shit in a week.
Try anal, it works wonders.
I an trashes at a wedding. Hotbcousins here I come. Agh.
I walk of shamed back from his dorm in costume while his dad and brother were waiting outside to drive him home. his dad apologized to me. my life never gets old.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm watching the red sox through my neighbors window from my bathroom. We're winning btw.
You ordered 6 boxes of pizza and laughed in the pizza guys face when you didn't pay for any of them.
Apparently I texted my high school english teacher asking her to tell me what logical fallacies she taught us three years ago.
The sad thing is; I'm getting used to walking around feeling like I could hurl at any minute.
I like making it seem like it's at least a little bit difficult to hook up with me
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's funny that when I fall down as an adult I'm so much happier no one saw than that I'm not seriously hurt.
I am a good friend because I got you a bagel. I am a bad friend because I ate half of it.
A Morman just tried to recruit me and I told him "Trust me, you don't want me"
I felt I lost my designated buddy on a field trip when you wandered off to get high with strangers.
I'm not talking about Donald Trump in the midst of sending you nudes
It's only 10am and I doubt my day could get much worse. During my 9am meeting I had to sit between my boss who I fucked for my promotion and the guy he walked in on me fucking on the copier
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