He's a collector of sorts
Any cool stuff?
You should see the collection of booggers in the carpet next to his desk
I just got three quarters of the way there before I realized I was way too stoned for class so I bought a smoothie and walked home.
I have diapers under my sink. trying to convince myself to use them.
i realized really quickly that drinking a bottle of vodka and 3 crystal light packets wasn't the best idea i've ever had
Whoever put the tambourine in the dryer is a douche. Worst hangover wakeup ever
I mean if she was naked in my room I would talk to her
My parents just suggested that we tailgate the midnight christmas service. this is my gene pool.
I'm gonna go out on a limb and say it had something to do with pool sex.
It's like everything I need in life within a five block radius: booze, toilets, dogs, dicks.
sometimes you just gotta eat tacobell at 2am and cry all your feelings out
If there aren't any tits where you are, you're doing it wrong.
i survived drinking for 24 hours, an 8 ball of cocaine and a threesome. I think you can handle moving.
i texted "amiibo vore" to my insurance agent instead of someone else. do you think they'll raise my rates out of disgust?
I think I had sex with a seagull last night. The window is open and there a feathers everywhere.
Found my paycheck. It was in the freezer
Randomize
