That cute girl I hooked up with last night clawed my back to hell and gave me a hickey. I look like a white trash warewolf victim
Nope, Im Irish and pissed with some drunk mixed in...therefore punching things is the best solution to every problem.
my new years resolutions dont apply when im drunk
Im not gonna remember this tomorrow but the real money is in coke i wanna get a dark wood desk and cell coke then i can own taco bell and the xxl chalupa will be mine
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My roomate asked me why she found condoms in the pringles container. I don't know what to tell her
I already have one guy that I have regrettable sex with. I don't need another.
YOU RECOMMENDED ME TO THIS GIRL BECAUSE SHES A STRIPPER AND YOU KNOW MY WEAKNESS FOR STRIPPERS WITH CHILDREN.
When a man can't even pay attention to you when you're telling him about how big his penis is, there's something wrong
We've cranked the heat for blizzard versions of all of our strip games. Come over.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Last night at McDonalds, you lied across the counter, pulled up your shirt and yelled "BODY SHOTS"...
Sometimes I really think that if... When your stoned you have a catlike ability to just relax in any position
I want to tell everyone I've ever met about how he him picking me up and fucking me against the wall was the highlight of my life. Worst lesbian ever.
Trust me.. Might look gay.. Might feel gay... But I could snap your neck with my inside thighs bro
Tempting guys with beer and cheese. How Midwestern are we?
You and your dick were a topic of high regard tonight
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