The human being growing inside of her was a mistake. Lets just hope the boyfriend isn't.
He went through and tagged himself on my crotch in all of my facebook pics
so he let me use one of the toothbrushes that came in his daughters 4 pack, purple glittery toddler toothbrush, the next time i came back his wife has used their label maker and put my name on it...
Don't make me choose between a good grade and anal
I know this may seem inappropriate, but are you gonna bring any blow to the wedding?
if you count grabbing my crotch as an introduction then yeah i got a couple of those tonight
We're bowling witha frozen turkey in the hallway...ur missing out
I thought it was a drawer and tried to pull it out and it wasnt a drawer it was the police call button. I hate everything.
Best orgasm I ever had! I though we totally connected and I asked him to stay over. He went back to the sigma chi house and returned with his blankie and a 40. please help
Not sure if creeper guy is too drunk to talk or I'm too high to listen.
Our DD painted my costume on me for tonight. The strippers have been teaching him how to paint costumes.
well at least you didn't have your nipples chewed last night
At first it will make you think "how is this physically possible?" and then it will ruin an entire food group for you.
when u match a guy bc he's from Oregon & he's trying to flirt, shut up i just want to talk about trees
I hate when my Bumble matches make it hard for me to stalk them.
Randomize
