Well I thought I'd be nice but yeah I'm not a fan of you either you're an arrogant stupid cocky unfunny loser. Don't talk to me you're crazy
Will you Wikipedia Vin Diesel? Is he gay? It's important...
ol I'll be okay, it's only a christmas party so the worst that could happen is I end up playing madden naked again
so either half this theatre is as stoned as me, or day daybreakers is hilarious
I was. I was trying to blow bubbles in the toilet after I threw up in it. They had to carry me everywhere. I lost a sock.
she just totaled her parents new car because there was a bee in the car. So she crashed into a light pole to kill it.
if that blanket by the dog bowl was your dog's "bed" then i apologize to bailey for having sex on it
well, I was going to forgive her anyway but not because shes my best friend and moreso because shes my drug dealer
At IHOP. It feels weird and sad that your cleavage isn't here for me to try to toss paper wads into.
I'm smoking in a kimono on the couch. Bring me gin.
No, next time he offers you a ride home, ask him about Batman. The result will always be road head.
All he gave me was a sore vagina and film suggestions
This German chick looked me up and down for a while. Then she grabbed my crotch, let go after a few seconds, and said "you vill do". I think I'm gonna like tonight.
Something must have happened, they started yelling truffle butter and you said we needed to leave NOW
It's been a week I should not still be finding glitter in my pants.
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