My dad hugged me and said I love u. I'm glad I didn't pull out that night.
I am currently trying to use a tide to go pen to remove the jizz from my backseat, it's not working...
Seriously. Doesn't matter if I went out last night, work is like crafts class w.a side of facebook
I lost control in the snow and hit a parked car. I went into our building to get a pen and paper to leave a note and when I came back the car was gone and there was a hot girl there. I used the pen and paper to get her number.
i dont know, i woke up and he was going down on me. i guess i can save his number
Does your throat ever get sore from being choked too hard or do u think I'm just getting sick??
I miss waking up knowing you're passed out under my bed.
Ran into his mom at the bar, i told her "i know he's married now but I'd still do him"
he signed me a blank check so today i get to decide if i want to be a saint or a millionaire
I've figured out why I love winter sex. Because I make them leave the beanie on, and we all know I love a man in a beanie.
Apparently I took a selfie with fried chicken at 2 am....I'm still trying to figure out where I got the chicken. I thought I was making mac & cheese.
Hey! How are you feeling? Still preferring soup over sex?
She has an alarming number of pictures with cat ears but the sex is amazing.
I woke up and there is a small Irish man playing call of duty in my room. Discuss.
Is she still on a quest to lick every stranger that enters the bar, or have the restraining orders reached critical mass?
Randomize
