There's a "art of the blow job" class in the city. We should go
Baby, I'm all set with that. That would be like trying to teach bruce lee how to kick someone in the head
i was so high last night while i was driving i felt like i was riding a bike with no pedals
i saw her thong sticking out from across the bar...that was my cue
drunk pissing on my closed toilet lid is actually quite a sobering experience
she walked in on me snorting my prozac. there was no way to convince her i was doing a good thing.
I'm pretty sure there was a language barrier but he knew what "harder" meant.
Yea it's a sex scar. But if anyone asks I tripped up carpeted stairs
We lost you in the mall, but to no surprise we found you waiting in line to sit on santas lap. You said you wanted to ask him for a pound of weed and a subway giftcard for xmas.
Some girl took her panties off, soaked them in vodka and wrung them out into a line of guys' mouths! Awesome!
No, NOT awesome. Where the fuck do you go drinking!?!
So good!! I became real good friends with an adorable black lesbian couple from Baltimore and a man in a diaper.
If we're single and alone together, the fuck angels shall sing upon our nude bodies.
Look at the picture I MADE him take with me...like why??? He's holding my foot?
it's just weird to think of you as a teacher since ive seen you throw up raspberry bacardi in my parents house
It was a fun night! I woke up with a boyfriend, again....
I’ve basically been controlling him with my tits for months now, so I can’t even imagine what would happen if I start banging him
Randomize
