I need to talk to you about an important matter involving lesbians.
so i asked him why he doesn't wanna see me anymore and he said he was questioning his sexuality. cool.
no really all good couples have similar hair colors!
Come over and help me clean up your so-called "winter wonderland" that you made with the fire extinguisher in the kitchen last night.
booty call birthday vouchers, best idea ever. it's like giving a present to myself for someone else's birthday.
You should've come to the party. It was like an identity parade of everyone you screwed last year.
But he buys me breakfast and goes down on me THATS HARD TO FIND
Fate is real! that hot chick, Megan just showed up dressed as jasmine and I'm dressed as Aladdin this is going to be cake
I would like to apologize once again for rubbing your thigh with my hands and face for a very long time last night.
So heartbroken my rebound has a rebound
I'm more worried that you thought licking a pole on Bourbon street would turn me on
I fucked in the bathroom while everyone listened and banged my dick against a table shouting "order in the court"
Right as the plane left the gate the brownies kicked in. I dont think the guy next to me appreciated my engine noises as we took off
When we became besties with benefits we agreed I could still get dick
I didn't think I'd have to specify "not my Dad"
Kay so its 9 am whose dumbass is gunna act sober to buy pizza rolls
Dude you promised
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