honestly, who buys weed with an unemployment check?
you.
oh yeah. preciate
I bet he comes in French.
do girls know yet that the best boners are in the morning?
do you know what somber means? it's kinda the opposite of a kegstand
ive come to the point where weve hung out more times sober than drunk. i think im growing up. fuck.
then out of nowhere we heard a voice yell "Fuck that pussy!"
Its everclear night, yall need carbs in your body!
He wants me to have his first child. So that makes four gay men that've called dibs on my eggs.
I knew when her mom came in spraying me with Febreeze telling me I smelled like shame it was going to be a rough day.
So, I'm about to take my pants off in the Walmart parking lot, when am old lady parks next to me. I'm all the way in the back next to the semis. What the hell?
The thought "Ummm which pants am I wearing? ...I *am* wearing pants, right?" just ran through my head. I'm done. So done.
Your boyfriends underwear are hanging from my kitchen window. Where the fuck are you?!
Hi. Tara tells me your sandwiches and stamina are substantial
yo dude not sure how this happened but im drunk at your house eating burritos with your mom and sister. hope you're having fun in new zealand
I can't be held responsible for what I do for you after a blowjob like that.
Randomize
