I just saw a girl in Albersons in spandex and curlers buying PBR. Only PBR.
we could easily be the first people to smoke 3 bowls and pound a Four Loco before goin on a tour of the Tillamook cheese factory
The girl in the white might have stds. I'm strangely okay with this.
He just came in my nostril. Never look down when a guy is pulling out during missionary.
I haven't found him passed out in the living room covered in noodles for a while now so I guess he's getting better with the drinking.
I feel like a monkey keeps fucking me in the ear with a trombone as a dick.
There two guys dressed as FEMA workers with jump-suits that say "Post-Disaster Breast Examination Division"
Long story short he broke into a preschool and threw all their cones into a tree.
Do you think it's wrong for me to hop on that dick before he realizes that he's gay?
The worst part about living in a small town is partying with your pharmacist and then having to buy Plan B from him the next morning.
I woke up in a chipotle parking lot with an industrial sized box of condoms and a bag of dounut holes. I need Jesus
Okay so it turns out that my bf keeps a log of every time I sleep-fart. It's dated back to 2013.
I cant tell you how much harder a belt makes hoeing
So who has the penis shaped party tray? You or your mom?
I'd like to know who hasn't seen my tits tonight.
Randomize
