I successfully cooked a taquito with a lighter! My stomach hurts now tho.. im either guna blame it on the undercooked taquito or im feeling guily about porkin my brothers gf a lil bit ago
I just put a tampon in while driving. Don't tell me I don't got skills.
my mom just informed me that im way nicer when im high and offered to supply my weed until our house guests leave.
does that include her cleaning your bowl?
the best sex is "duke just lost" sex.
Someone else needs to become the bad example in our group
But you wear shame so well
This taco party has no tacos, just a hot asian guy in booty shorts. We were lied to.
See, thats where im at with my life, welcome to the slut yaht we will be cruising comfortably all summer at an extremely drunken relaxing pace S.S. Slut Bucket
It was so weird. She left to go to the bathroom and her older sister leaned towards me with a creepy smile and said, "You don't deserve her" and then continued to stare at me with a crazy expression for the rest of the evening.
That's kinky shit dude.
I'm dying. The alcohol is viciously exiting my tiny body.
She told me she loved my new hairstyle. I told her its called head head.
We have a lot of substance abuse to do tomorrow its sleep time
First thing I find in the car I just pick up from my grandpa? A discount card for the strip club down the road from his apartment. The force is still strong.
Leaves on the ground. Coffee in one hand and your man in my other. Lovely fall morning.
Your vagina is awesome, like it needs to teach a class for other vaginas
She never came back from the bathroom so I went to look for her... I was in my room and heard this rustling. And she was in my closet petting ties.
Randomize
