I just saw a hot homeless man
I'm just that much of a man that I can watch Ellen and Oprah back to back and still like girls.
he said i'm too pretty to suck penis
we saw you sitting at the door of the dorm trashed, wrapped in DANGER tape with a stolen balloon around your wrist
I wanna get so drunk next week I throw up on a guy's genitals. I want to be that memorable for someone.
Welll when you have a beer at 8:30 am you've already decided whaat kind of Sunday it ism
He still hasn't made a move, so I slept with his brother last weekend. Maybe sibling rivalry will motivate........
Maybe I should forgo underwear.
This is a family BBQ no?
Hows that studying goin for you?
I'm in my bathtub in a robe and jeans smoking a bowl and my hair is covered in olive oil
Guess who has two thumbs and just fell outta his car and almost peed himself
let me just inform you that suppository-ing xanax is glorious
just woke up on a lounge chair wearing a durag and holding burrito wrappers in my hands
I'm sitting in the shotgun seat of my car on full recline trying to pretend everything is ok
Thank you for dog sitting, there is $60 on my desk to be spent on DRUGS AND/OR GAS ONLY not that food stuff people crave.
Blueberry probiotics greatly increase to the masturbation experience. Try it dude. It’s all the rage
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