yay, now i'm not the only homewrecker.
yeah but i stopped sleeping with him after i found out he was married.
Maybe you should have studied instead of worrying about who is going to have sex with you
today was the first day of rush. talking to girls all day makes me sick of having a uterus.
Word to the wise: learn how to ask "What is my bail posted as" in French before traveling abroad.
I hate drunken dyslexia, i thought she said "someone to do" not "something to do" long story short i now have a restraining order.
My google history shows every combination of "red lobster cheesy biscuits" possible.
Your one and only job is to make sure I am on that bus tomorrow morning with no cat makeup on my face
she's throwing things again.. almost stabbed herself in the eye with a fork.
Oh and in case you were wondering it is not a good idea to eat weed brownies and then go out to the bar. When I got off the bar stool my high had just hit me and I felt like Bambi taking his first steps
so far, I've observed him try to hit on 3 girls, 1 guy and a bar stool. Humanity is amazing from a sober point of view.
WHY IS THERE NO EMOJI FOR "FUCK MY MOM JUST SAW MY SEX BRUISES?!"
I don't need a lecture. I'm 41. I know I'm an idiot.
If you fold the laundry; booze and orgasms on me.
We can have bacon on the roof while tanning
These random guys found me. They told me not to wander in the woods and i remember saying 'am i fucking Bambi?! I'm not gonna walk into woods!' then i threw up.
Randomize
