We were done making out and had been asleep for a hour. I felt him put his hand on my butt. Then I farted.
Why do I always give away anal sex as birthday presents?
Shut up... one mans birthday cake is another mans sodomy my friend
She took a break from repeating "my face is still buzzing!" to say that the phantom of the opera could be here
she used her one phone call to ask me about my day
u r missing out we r watching a tranny direct traffic in a gstring
Y'know, "Class cancelled because Professor is stuck in Mexico," is not something I expected in college. Let alone, "Professor is stuck in Mexico, AGAIN."
I just don't know the best way to tell him I think I saw him in a porn. I mean I got off to it, isn't there some level of awkwardness there?
I'm two sheets to the sexual wind
sent a snap of my boobs out to my FWB his response was what happened to your other nipple ring.. how do I say it got ripped out by my other FWB last week without sounding like a slut
God if that man would just have sex with me every time I got mad life would be so much easier...
So I should just walk in, look him in the eye and say, "I just came to fuck your brother, nice to meet you" and just walk to your room.
I said I hate kids.This dude said he will sell his children to go on a date with me.
In theory, it seemed like it would work.
All I remember is you shouting "THIS KID IS A FREAKIN' NINJA!!" when he dive rolled over a barbed wire fence and proceeded to ask for his 18th beer.
Can u pick up some lemons on the way? I have Tequila and a sore throat..I need them for both
Randomize
