im the poster child for why you shouldnt play beer pong with wine.
he had a sign stolen from the tennis court hanging above his bed that said, "please limit play to one hour while others are waiting"
You were in the garage half naked counting your ribs and talking about how you had too many
He likes Jesus. Game over.
Oooh wait, he just told me he was high.
Listening to Whitney Houston sing the National Anthem while I shit before going out tonight. America.
It was kinda hard to explain to his wife why there was chocolate syrup on the ceiling.
Speaking of gay, some dude in a life vest just goes, we should pull our dicks out! To larry. Were leaving now. I saw penis
Nope if you can't be there for me emotionally, then my vagina can't be there for you physically. That's my rule.
It's was about average. But he had a tat on his thigh that said "pull-out n' rollout" so I won't have to worry about a round two request.
If I spent my amateur stripper money does that mean I am cleansed of my sins?
I gave up great shower sex to be here so don't say I never did anything for our friendship.
He was licking my ear while recommending that I shop at IKEA. I think he's my perfect guy.
she kind of stumbled up and said "Bitches be needin' stiches." i thought i could convince her to break a bottle over someones head but she fell onto her face and passed out before i could say anything
Just escaped from the ER. Meet me at the bar in 20 minutes.
Made it to the top o the stairs ALIVE YES FUCJ YOU GRAVITY
Randomize
