Why is there a case of Coors Light with my address on it?
First day of class and I'm in a bar drinking pitcher #3. Foreshadowing?
On campus. Grown men in women's sexy bee costumes. Complete with legwarmers. This cannot be real life.
Three people drank on "never have I had sex in a tractor." Iowa at its best?
I blew him and did charles barkley impressions at the same time. what a pro
When one is stoned and browsing online dating profiles all men sound like serial killers.
So he's compensating for a really small penis. Either that or he's a drug lord.
Can I borrow you for, like, thirty minutes so you can lay on one boob and rub the other until I fall asleep?
I feel like if you're funneling natty lights on a Wednesday at 2:30pm at the apartment complex pool during finals week, you probably don't have your priorities straight.
Seriously dude...who threw up on Michelle? She's been crying for like an hour
Hello my rib-scented angel!
She's still here. My penis can feel it.
Dude, I think she left with some dude like an hour ago
FOUND HER. I swear this thing is like a metal-detector
Russell is lonely. He needs a companion.
You're lucky you have a monster cock or most people may just laugh at your penis' nickname.
I have a mild substance abuse problem, but I'm still a functioning member of society. America.
her and her boyfriend kept giving me coke ad kissing me talking about my awesome boobs
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