i want to give my vagina back to god and say no thank you
eating taco bell the same day as formal = probably a bad idea
I may or may not have puked in my RA's suggestion box.
Just bought myself a coach diaper bag. I thought it would be perfect for school. the baby bottle holders are where i'm gonna put my booze
Hello everyone will one of you please inform me on why I woke up in a cardboard recycle dumpster with no shirt and a stuffed animal? I want to hear this explanation.
Your godly.
He apologized for his naked psychotic episode and then we had goodbye sex on his sailboat
I realized it was a bad idea when I broke my collar bone
why is there a broken handcuff locked to the ceiling fan
.It's like gods test of willpower against vaginal comfort
are you just sitting in your hotel room drinking popsicle vodka?
.....well anything sounds bad when you say it like THAT
Do you always skip to "Baby Got Back" when fat girls show up at the bar?
It all started with sending him a text about Spongebob. It escalated from there.
He made the moves first, we made out...then we folded his laundry.
he came with me to get plan b but they didn't have any. when I started crying he said "come on it's not that bad.. ill go get sandwiches from the vending machine and we'll have our first meal together as a family"
He woke me with blue berry pancakes and a blow job. He's a keeper.
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