ad ew i am wasted whats my problem
Apparently I masturbate in my sleep now.
just had sex with a midget and didnt wrap it... were totally gonna have a tv show :)
woke up with ski boots on and a kayak in my room... birthday successful? i'd say so
I literally paid him in shots to clean my entire apartment. he even vacuumed...who said alcoholism is a bad thing??
I have a plus one for the Blackout Express, should I pen in your name?
There's a man in a pumpkin/reaper outfit advertising a new head shop outside the Taco Bell. I love this town.
I puked up my nose. THAT kind of night
Now we're discussing the sex we had and the later lack thereof. It's like marriage counseling via snapchat.
I hope so much that you got average or above average dick tonight because I wish you the best
Did she seriously come back inside just to piss on the kitchen floor?
I didn't want to shower, so I shaved my legs in the pool . That drunk .
I really don't think my body can handle another night of drinking
Lol you talk like you have a choice
I am worried that I am gonna die before the weekend is over
And I hope you're not misinterpreting us fucking as me trying to win you back. The sex is good and girls have needs.
I dont think the chain smoking, tequila shots or cocaine was good for my bronchitis.
Randomize
