Lets date for the summer
what?
Dont love me in September.
Instead of peeing my cute lil blue panties I peed in the train parking lot in front of an asian.
god I hate her. why can't she just fuck and leave like a normal slut.
it'll be like the batcave but for manwhores
im just going to wait until i dont feel like the grim reaper is having sex with me
lets just say that i have already today: gotten drunk, got in a fight, got stranded an hour away from home, found a ride, sobered up, and slept. woken back up, and here i am. its been a long day. Day drinking is bad for friendships.
Tomorrow night wont work for me. I'm talking with Bryan about marriage and I dont want to have a shroom hangover.
they're both probably 7 inches? or 8? I'm shoving a ruler in my mouth trying to figure it out
but I'll probably watch some porn later so it's not a complete waste of a Saturday night.
My favorite thing about your netflix account "suggestions for you" section: Russias Toughest Prisons is followed immediately by Strange Sex
Do they mail horrible human being awards or do I have to pick it up or what's the protocol on that shit
I wish my nipples were as well behaved as yours.
I told the cop I was late for a booty call. He still gave me a ticket but he wrote his number on it
I'm really stressed out right now.
I think you're confusing "stressed" and "sober".
I mean the power was out what was I supposed to do
Randomize
