She thinks she is all that and a bag of skittles but I'm definitely not tasting the rainbow...
I queefed so loud it echoed.
they esentially rejected my mermaid threesome offer:(
HE'S turngign 18teen real soon.k
If I don't have carpet burn in the morning you aren't trying hard enough.
Pitting the remainder of the bottle against my hangover. I'm expecting an all out cage match for my soul and wellbeing.
I'm doing running of the bulls tomorrow at 7am...except in New Orleans roller derby girls chase you.
I don't think that calm, have their shit together people actually exist.
In local news "Man Stabbed With Golf Club" next person who tells me this is a safe place to live gets punched...
I have a corndog on my dresser and a trashcan of puke. Thanks for a great night!
Just bought a gingerbread house kit and pregnancy tests. Happy holidays.
And the next thing I knew I was blowing this random hot italian bartender with an uncircumcised penis in his work closet
Okay. So did I kiss you last night? I know that I made out with someone. Or a few someones. But I'm pretty sure that I made out with you. Was that real life?
I just watched someone put a diaper on a cat..I'm to high for this.
I gave him breakup sex, AGAIN
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