nothing tight i'm going to stuff myself with food and alchy
It only happened twice. Once we used extra virgin olive oil and once I used saliva and brute force.
You were running around the house with a purple crayon asking people to call you harold..
All four of us managed to throw up in the same bathroom at different times during the night. I think we'll get along great living together.
Just put my hand under my pillow and found a peach ring. Lat night just came rushing back.
knew i was gonna lose at a shoe or be bleeding at some point. and both happened within 20 mins.
he screamed PILLOW FIGHT and hit branden in the head with a pillow that had a fifth of vodka in it. then he asked why he wasnt laughing
Tell me you didn't really piss in the hookah.
Some kid just stopped wherever he was walking, turned to me, and gave me a slow clap. So I'm pretty sure my walk of shame beats yours.
And then we can spend New Year's Day sprawled across the tiles watching greys anatomy and puking into the bushes over the balcony. It'll be great
I think I should start a match.com profile and put "robe lounging" as my only hobby
Looks better than the half a blow job I got the other night which I had to finish myself. From a chick I refer to simply as "mom jeans".
Mom called last night while I was at the bar and asked where I was. I told her I was on the highway to the danger zone while the guys were humming the top gun theme.
I don't want his dick, I want his flame thrower!!
Thank you, my gorgeous heroine, for being such a total life-saver by giving me rides, forcing me to eat, providing porous absorbant surfaces to bleed on, and everything else you do <3
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