Just saw a girl trying to crack an egg with her butt cheeks. I think I know what we're doing thursday night.
i had to pay fifty dollars for throwing up in the limo, 60 fucking dollars to throw up all over myself
sorry
why?
oh you didn't look in the living room yet, did you?
And on that day, Satan said; "Let there be the friend zone and let us get fucking high." while Jesus silently cried in the background.
You broke the end off a wine bottle, ran outside and screamed "FOR NARNIA!!"
Do you have any need for a scary clown mask?
Hey you remember last Super Bowl when I sent you a pic of my testicles? Memories...
Dude this weed smells so good they should make it into a Vicks vapor rub scent and I would rub it all over myself.
You meet the best people naked in a hot tub at 2 am.
well at least you didn't have your nipples chewed last night
Still drunk on my morning "run" which has turned into a walk. Just burped fireball
It's finals week and I'm halfway done with this bag of wine and don't plan on stopping. Say goodbye to my GPA
We are all done wearing pants today
summer in europe = liver of steel
I accept that challenge.
He spilled some of his beer on your shoulder then proceeded to lick it off. By the face you made, I don't know if you were completely horrified or really turned on.
Randomize
