I wish you were here to vomit in your hand.
Theyre still fighting about whether its called america or the united states.
what age do we have to be before we can stop fucking guys on the first date?
70 feet underwater and I sharted my wetsuit, Tide pen won't clean this up.
I'm gonna go out in a limb and say living out middle school fantasies is never a good idea
he told me not to treat him like a child and then started peeing off the trampoline
the kid throwing up and laying face down on the deck just asked ME if I'M okay...
And then he told me he just wanted me to hold his cock while we watched tv...
Please brint me miilk. I am on the floor but my door is open. Thank you, i appreciate u verry much.
Can't find our DD
He's backstage giving the strippers foot massages.They kidnapped him the moment he walked thru the door.
she keeps dunkaroos and gatorade in her bed. yep pretty sure im in love.
MESSY REBOUND SEX HERE I COME! Time to start stretching to fit in my back seat again ...
I'm currently sitting at your kitchen table eating chicken nuggets that I dug out of the trash and thinking about how much I need to get laid.
I twisted my ankle while drunkenly playing in my adult kickball league. Now I'm having to use my grandpa's cane to walk at this party. I am so single.
Why do I feel so obligated to masterbate just because I’m single and it’s valentines Day...
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