Hey, go out with us like you promised. You're younger than us and should be able to handle your coke problem with grace.
kyle and i were puking, simultaneously, off the front porch at 4 am, and in the middle of it he looks up, reaches his hand over, and says "knucks." And then I proceeded to fist bump him. By farrr the best time I've ever had puking.
For some reason I knew you were going to smell like strippers and burritos when I hugged you.
At some point tonight the bad ideas in my head became bad decisions that happened outside my head
Can't a woman sleep on the floor in her own apartment in peace without being judged?
I remember saying your puke looked like a jellyfish and you got very offended.
they knew we were both to shy to do anything so they got us drunk and locked us in the back yard with a tent. it was fuck or freeze
you have the best friends
I'm still pretty drunk right now, but when this hangover hits me, I'm going to be super pissed. It's a preemptive never drinking again.
I had to ask him for a dick pic. Do you know how refreshing that was?
I mean I only got hit in the ass with ONE firework
Just wiped the ashes off my forehead before he came over to have sex. Definitely going to hell.
He gave me an extra phone charger for the other side of the bed the other night. Is that love?
I thought I needed to get laid. Turns out I just needed pasta.
Actually we have similar relationship styles aka no relationship... it could work
So a bottle of lube exploded all over my softball bag and Nike shirt.
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