i feel like the song jizz in my pants was made for him.
i swear to god, this restaurant is playing a john tesh cover of a song from aladdin
just took my exes job. there should be an award for how many times I've managed to fuck that girl's life
I mean I had a leg brace. It would have been irresponsible for me to be on top.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He sang nursery rhymes to my vagina to get me to have sex with him..
They gave me a glowstick necklace to wear so they could locate me if I wandered off into the woods
like a sex slave...but with a better dental insurance plan
you called me and cried until i agreed to record a rap about our lives with you
Never again. Her vagina looked like a sad old man.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There are at least 3.6 billion human cocks in this world. Get some. Get as many as humanly possible. Literally. Do it. 1-2-3 go!
we couldn't find any funnels so we taped a spaghetti strainer to a pool noodle and it worked fairly well
Is 'too horny to study' a good enough medical excuse to not take a final?
I'm chatting with a girl missing a front tooth. I find it quite distracting. I'm sure you have deduced what bar I'm drinking in on this monday night.
You know I love you. I just don't love your penis.
Such a big mess for such a small penis
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