Disney World has no open container laws. Ohmygod this place is even cooler than it was when I was ten.
I am unable to type or say "unprotected, receptive anal sex" with a straight face. clearly, HIV was a poor research paper topic choice.
I just typed in random letters on his address bar... 5 out of the 6....a porn site was in the drop down list hahahahaha get a life bro.
This is going to be the summer remembered forever as the giant 3 month long mushroom trip.
Just walked out of 7 11 still in uniform when 4 girls in bikinis in a convertable screamed "we fuck firefighters!"
Career choice validated
My mom ate salad out of the vodka bowl
i feel like i got punched in the cervix. he's a little different in bed than i thought he would be..
Winner winner, chicken dinner. I am the sole survivor of the orgy without strep. Or maybe I was the carrier?
I'm pretty sure "tag teaming" and "looking for stability" are not synonymous.
Not yet.
omg this is getting ridiculous. nobody's vagina should ever be this neglected.
You should have heard my farts after he left. I swear one of them was a demonic voice saying, "It's coming for you, Nicole. It's coming,".
If I ever look like I'm about to have a repeat of last night, hit me. Just smack me as hard as you can.
So "I hate myself Mondays" has extended to Tuesday this week. I just had peanut butter and a glass of wine for lunch.
Sorry I steam cleaned at 1:30 in the morning and that i'm such a drunk dumb child. On the bright side, my carpet has ever looked better.
I either have a problem or a really good solution... I just ordered my homecoming dress off of a website that sells forplay outfits.
Randomize
