See it, we're so close, i smell your vagisil
its like whenever the snow comes all the hott girls drop out of school. where are they
dude i need to stop getting high. i cant afford to eat like this...
today is my dealer's birthday. i dont know whether to give him the day off or call him saying happy birthday ill take a quarter please
God dammit, you have a cape and I don't even have a fucking jacket.
She has never blacked out. I have tried to get her to so many times. Apparently it's a lot harder than we make it out to be.
you grabbed the waitors dick and yelled '2nd base' and then he gave you his number. I hate your life.
I just got woken up by some Christians who wanted to talk about the bible. ways to make a hangover even worse for a thousand trebek
That's just a really flattering way of saying, "Yes, you're useless, but you have great tits."
If we can't get laid at a bar crawl, we should just quit life.
You handed J your Mayan-pocalypse shopping list and told him he wasn't getting laid unless he brought everything on it. Where is he supposed to get a live goat?!
Do you participate in Sunday morning booty calls?
Dammit! I didn't see this message, of course I do.
Can we discuss your tits for a sec? That melon patch sprung up over night
Dude, you were tagged in a stripper FB selfie. That is a whole new level of something.....
I'm developing all these feelings it's disgusting.
Randomize
