His little brother walked in on us. Six times.
a garbage man just dropped off my phone and wallet. he found them in the trash this morning.
two gay guys came in and bought just a kite and a box of wine. Why cant I have saturday nights that awesome
My ex was here I looked him in the eyes when I grabbed some other guy by his belt and dragged him to a room
Sundays should be dedicated to Girl Scout cookies, sex, and super hero movies.
I want to reach into my vagina and rip out my uterus with my bare hands. Understand how much it hurts now?
I can't bring an entire liter in the bar in my purse. I mean I can. I might. I'm probably gonna.
If we can't get laid at a bar crawl, we should just quit life.
Was banging my ex last night when his roommate walked in... We kept going. #goaheadandwatch
The doctor said that if they accidentally damage my nerve endings I could permanently lose feeling in my lower jaw.. Honestly the first thing that came to mind was how that would affect my blowjob skills.
She's takin more dicks this month than I have in my life by the sounds of it
Is offering to blow your HR rep considered an ethics violation?
My aunt asked how many piercings I had and my mom said seven and I said nine and that's how my family found out I had my nipples pierced.
I basically go to him for great dick and great memes.
can you come here so we can have really loud sex? the girl upstairs walks so loud i want her to know how it feels
of course
Randomize
