How is it? Sketchville?
cheap drinks and peanuts cancel out any form of sketchiness
she looks like someone took a bunch of spare parts and glued them all on one face. it's quite horrifying.
RJ thinks I should put one of the muffins in my vagina. Good idea or bad idea?
Okay well someone asked "IS HE HOMELESS?" about me so I need to try and find somebody.
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Is a wave an appropriate goodbye when your one night stand wakes up and walks out towards the door while you are looking through the garbage for the evidence of a condom?
i hope youre ready for a shit show because we just ordered a whole pitcher of red headed sluts
Because i love you. And people show love by not letting their friends shit themselves.
It's just one of those days where I'm too horny to function, to be perfectly honest.
I fucking hate you. Some slutty looking drunk chick backed her ass up across the bar and started grinding on you. You ignored her because you didn't want to share you drink
I care about my drink far more than her feelings
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I feel that my cleavage set an unattainably high bar for 2013.
So I found out me and this guy I was drinking beer with tonight both got lactated on by the same stripper. We're milk brothers.
i would never take his side over yours. you coulda gotten knocked up from another dude and i'd be right there next to you blaming it on him saying some shit like "his sperm were just too sub par for you" or "shoulda had a bigger penis"
He literally just laid flat on top of me motionless at one point. It felt less like foreplay and more like he was trying to use me as a flotation device. 0/10
Whiskey. Because sometimes it's fun to have your hands go numb.
Oh, the accent alone guaranteed a bj. It was when he started drunkenly singing in PERFECT PITCH that I knew I was fucking him.
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