Exactly how many bongs can i have before my parents figure out they really aren't vases
doing a bong hit while wearing crest white strips...not such a great idea...
well when do great stories at the expense of people's relationships become a bad thing?
the "its better than getting an actual virus from an actual porn star" argument failed.
So. Much. Sex. I feel like i ran a marathon then someone kicked me in the vagina. Soo worth it
i really regret not blowing your cousin before he went to jail
I will no longer accept being cock blocked in my own bed.
All i want to do is drink fuck and cry... you dont have to cater all three its more like the saddest choose your own adventure ever
Who knows? Maybe we can sing afternoon delight into each other's genitals.
At tuba camp, the pickings are slim. It's like being the tallest midget.
I just wanna have sex and go to Denny's after is that too much to ask for.
i swear i was one second from getting his number and then the shrooms kicked in
It's gonna be me and some oreos tonight. Basically like sex
You're a hot mess, you know that?
At least I'm a FUN hot mess. Like a train crash full of pizza, fireworks and glitter.
You sealing the pinky promise with a shot was much better than just kissing it
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