A big part of growing up is learning how to tastefully stare at women
there's a girl in the library on mysapce. she must have missed the memo.
Please dont jizz on my ds screen.
WHITE RUSSIAN WEDNESDAY. TELL YOUR CO WORKERS. INVITE QND PREPARE
Is it going to be one of those nights where I shouldn't wear my contacts so everyone looks more attractive?
My drunk neighbor is arguing with a goose in his yard. This was the highlight of my day.
I need to stop going to bars and yelling "I could be teaching your kids one day, bitches!"
I'm not a horrible person, I just see what everyone chooses to politely ignore.. And occasionally say it aloud whilst deeply intoxicated.
Haha its fine we ask know it. He's still cool thought
Focus on the keyboard man. Focusssss
I have walked into stripper central, but I'm on the street at 1:00 in the afternoon
I have to stop letting him stay all weekend. I feel like a cored apple.
i don't think i have enough personality to make it through this date sober.
Maybe you should slow down tonight...
KINGS DON'T NEED ADVICE FROM LITTLE HORN-BILLS FOR A START
Gotta say, self-deprecating Lord of the Rings-themed sex jokes were not on my agenda for today.
I think I accidentally got a sugar daddy but I was already planning on sleeping with him so I’m going to see where this goes
Randomize
