Tonight was like the Noah's Ark of alcohol. I had to have two of everything.
The men handing out bibles on the quad are blatantly skipping me... am i that obvious
Company party. Just told vp "you look like a cat person"
You weren't just peeing. You were like grinding on it. And you tried to pee in the washing machine first.
And there might be a gallon of sangria without the lid on the floor in your room. Just be careful when you open the door.
Remind me tomorrow that I was taking shots of burnetts in the subway line while placing my order
God damn him and his understanding ways and little hip muscle things.
Gas station champagne. And before you say anything I'll have you know it's imported. From California. So get fucked.
I say this as a friend, you would make a SPECTACULAR crossdresser
I cant see straight, her clothes are all over my floor and I'm covered in bite marks... No I will not go to brunch with you
Senior week was like trying to herd cats. Very drunk cats.
I'm hungry, horney and thirsty. Pick two you want to help out with.(please pick horney)
I would date him. For 1 month. Just so I could say I was a trap queen for 1 month.
Just wanted to share my unfortunate vagina news in the hopes that it would make your vagina feel better about itself.
We still on for Manwhore Monday?
Randomize
