You don't have asthma, your pregnant
I'm half single.
Please tell me it's the bottom half.
so im watching realhousewives of jersey with my mom. she just said they werent really rich bc they were doing their own makeup.
I'll let you put expensive food in me, but really, not much else.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He should be on Bizare Foods after who he ate last night
if you call bong hits and onion rings a party, then yeah
You made eat vitamins until I threw up
Ummm so I just found the baby pumpkin that was on my porch last night in Village Pizza this morning on their counter. The cashier said some drunk girl came in and told him it was a present.
At least drunk me was smart enough to stash toilet paper in my bag before I started my walk home. Finally countless squat pees and wiping with grass taught me to be prepared.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She greeted me with a new giants jersey and an opening day blowjob. this is true love.
...he tried to burn down someone's house once. ABORT ABORT ABORT
I couldn't tell you were laughing too hard
Dude I thought I set my hair on fire. I wasn't laughing I was screaming.
This is literally engraved into my seat "Need crack?" And then there's a number. This isn't real.
He came over in a blaze orange vest with a case of beer and a shotgun yelling about "Dove Season" then passed out in the lawn. There he lies
I'm sorry for drunkenly throwing a spoon at you and then laughing at your pain.
Randomize