So my game is weak??
If your game is "Lets have sex, and maybe pizza" then yes.
I would say a second date is not looking likely, I acciedentally bit his penis. it's still bleeding 43 minutes later.
I just need you there to slap my dick when im flirting with her
don't tell me I don't love her. i once slept with my girlfriends therapist, just to find out if she was cheating on me.
you better not pull some "waking up at 2 in the afternoon" shit, we have weed to smoke.
your house isnt even gonna be on google maps after this party
Who wrote "the chamber of secrets has been open, enemies of the heir beware" across my bathroom wall?
You just referred to a pillow with a stolen bra strapped to it as "she". Let that sink in for a minute.
The thought "Ummm which pants am I wearing? ...I *am* wearing pants, right?" just ran through my head. I'm done. So done.
Me sprinting out of your house without my bra or shoes is our entire relationship defined in a single moment.
The fabulous human disaster: it is him
After all this I still can't spell gonorrhoea without autocorrect
How many times have you told me to call 911 this week?
Lol twice
Whoever said it shouldn't take a man to make you happy clearly wasn't having sex everyday.
Hey! Its not the first time I've been eaten out in a bridesmaids dress in a church by a groomsman!
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