omg. I had the wrong window open and I accidentaly posted my credit card # on twitter
Whats your twitter name
My toast was "here's to being positive, and testing negative... Cheers!"... after that chick gagged on her shot, everyone knew.... slut.
If it makes you feel better he went down on me when i had a yeast infection.
call me tomorrow and ask me about coke-whore stripper. It hasnt happened yet, but im sure it will be plenty disappointing.
i just identified you from a description of your pipe
the boys lacrosse roster just went up... now we can see who we had sex with
scarred for life. way too high and witnessed some chick give a dude head on the dance floor
She said she'll drive over, bang, and then head home. It's like ordering a pizza.
I just found out that my husband and I are Eskimo siblings. What in the actual fuck?!
A fair warning: I don't think a cop will let you off the hook just because your birthday is on New Year's Eve
When you are 21 it's acceptable to run out of the tavern and puke all over the bike rack... when you are 35 it's called alcoholism.
He dislocated his shoulder trying to finger me last night if that tells you anything
get your sex hands out of my capn crunch
I pelvic thrusted so hard while he was eating me out that his nose started bleeding. I think it's broken. Trophy scars, right?
only 4 hours until nug lovin time
excuse me?
nug lovin. lovin nugs.
Randomize
