She looks like Sash Grey but sounds like Fran Drescher. Advise.
Just spent 45mins blow drying a joint i dropped in a beer....i felt like i dropped his infant child....
All i've done since I got back to my room today is take a three hour nap. Like, I even planned to change my pants and haven't even done that yet.
Just beat 2 Norwegian women in beer pong. Never been so proud to be an American.
I sleep with the gay men, they no longer have questions about their sexuality. No strings attached at it's finest and i get new shopping buddies out if it. It really is a win win situation.
You are my idol.
Tomorrow's thirsty thursday is now sponsored by the three time champion, chemisty failure. celebration starts asap.
She called him at 5 AM so that he'd be ready for her birthday breakfast and drinks at 6. This is why people don't need to wait until their 21st to have their first drink.
He's going to let me keep his bowl in my car. Does that make us Facebook official?
Ohmygod. I don't know if I can explain how great it'll be. I hope you don't mind Subaru sex
Yes I peed all over myself and lost both my credit cards, who wants to know?
i definitely signed you up to receive text message notifications from a jukebox last night. Not even sorry.
I wanna be like, dude, I peed your bed. Like you laid in my pee. And we're not dating. You can find another fuck buddy who I'm sure won't piss on you.
My mom wants to name our new dog the same name as my fuck buddy. This will be weird
I support your vibrator fueled lifestyle.
We’ve discussed sex and dinner. Like chicken nuggets while doing it doggie and watching tv.
Randomize
