I'm almost 25, which means I can ride with girls that have permits
guy picked up a cops taser, thing shot him in the neck, he went down and pissed himself, cop started laughing and hasnt called an ambulance.
Watching the 1st game of the world cup. I'll drunk dial you at 8:30 to wake you up for work.
we found you standing over and eating out of my neighbor's garbage can
It's like his dick is pushing through his pants and driving him over here.
You ad-libbed two DETAILED rounds of price is right, 1 wheel of fortune, and 1 deal or no deal.... by yourself with sound effects and music included
I don't give a damn about what he wants to do with his life. Personalities are for pussies.
Woke up in time for my 8:15
Good for you I'm impressed
I realized 10 minutes in it was a class from last semester
Also I stopped in the middle of the road and put my hazards on because BUNNIES WERE PLAYING
In retrospect, vomiting out of a moving vehicle on the third date should have been a deal breaker
he told me he liked me . I thought we were just fuck buddies . This ruins everything!
So, then you thought it was a good idea to dress up like the Hamburglar, buy a bag full of McDonalds hamburgers, go to Burger King and throw them at everyone while screaming "HAMBURGLAR!". At that point there was no stopping you.
he's the kind of guy you give a fake number to and he still finds out your real number anyway...
Listen, you can either give me drugs or an orgasm. You decide.
The day will come again young grasshopper. For now you must complete your training of patience and tongue biting
Randomize
