i was so high last night that i actually googled "how to get un high"
if you ask that question again our friendship is over
We learned about herpes today in bio. I might as well have given the lecture
She just kept tellin me God was coming back and he was leavin her with a bag of stale doritoes and shitty friends.
I'm just saying, asking "Are you happy with me?" during a handjob is simply unfair and scientifically inadmissiable.
But it's not about our feelings, it's about making the men we sleep with feel awful about their lives
I hope I take a shit on your face in your dreams tonight.
I don't wanna be gay for a night.
I think it would be worth it for free alcohol.
Clearly it doesn't get better with age. Just more sexual
Milk that cash cow for all the shots she's worth
You can't mix blow jobs, bacon, and Star Wars.
A) just did. And b-z) that sounds like a great Sunday morning.
I want to get up and tell you that smells delicious but I'm struggling with the idea of pants
I told people at my moms bar that all I needed to sober up was to get my asshole licked, and I blame you 110%.
In my defense I didn't know there was concrete on the other side of that fence when I tossed him over it.
You're both fucking idiots and this is why I should never let you two drink alone.
Why do all my exes just become Tom Hanks in Castaway?
That's a fantastic question. And an odd set of criteria to meet if wanting to date you.
You should of known that i was high if i refer to myself as melting into anything
Randomize
