I just heard someone say "gosh-darnit" and they didn't have a southern twang. I worry for New York.
I love waking up with his head head between my legs, it makes me feel special
There are drunk kids outside our building hugging that cop that's always on his bike as he's citing them for public drunkenness. It's not even 11 am.
I'm not upset because i like you. I'm upset because I can't use you for the sex anymore.
nothing like smoking out of your roommate's bong with your mom to celebrate the rising of christ
he is risen halelujah
So would it be tacky to offer my services as a future attorney as an engagement gift for her?
seeing two freshman taking a cab home at noon on a Monday makes me realize how much worse my life choices could have been
after giving head I just always feel like I need like. ice cream. as both a means of getting the lingering sperm out of my mouth, and a congratulations.
I just explained my sex life to the "if you give a moose a muffin" book... Is that weird?
downside - we got stuck at the intersection before the santa clause parade started and had to wait for it to end. upside - i got frontrow seats and a blow job to the santa clause parade.
I think my ball sweat smells like waffle house. might be time to change up drunken eating habits
I've decided that it's a bad thing. But I've also decided that I don't give a fuck.
So, no matter what happens today, hold on to this. At least you're not naked under your ex husband's trench coat being stopped by the police who also work with your ex husband. Long story. Actually, not a long story. That's it.
I mean I made my therapist laugh so hard she cried....so yes, my life is literally a joke to everyone
i just ran butt naked down the hall and someone highfived me. i love college.
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