The men handing out bibles on the quad are blatantly skipping me... am i that obvious
I think I can smell my own vagina right now
My mom is pretending to be Paula Deen while making breakfast...I'm pretty sure she's sober.
Do you think it'll be awkward standing up at their wedding knowing I've slept with both the bride and the groom?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Guy in the room next to us in the ER is chanting "I'm jeff and I'm drunk". He's trying to get released to finish tailgating for the Iowa game that starts in 9 hours.
the upside of dating someone over 21: he can buy me a pregnancy test AND a bottle of wine when he goes to cvs for me
It's getting harder and harder to find People to carry her home
She shouldn't drink
i got kicked out of McDonald's for demanding a margarita mcflurry
The first thing I did in 2015 was suck a dick.....so.....
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Your roommates will be treating you to many anecdotes about my intentions to have aggressive sex with you. I'm sorry in advance.
Last night I watered my lawn and smoked a joint then cooked a steak. I'm really killing this adulthood thing.
Why is there multiple peanut butter and toasts stuck to the fridge door?
Its amazing how creative youll get when your house has been out of toilet paper for a week and a half
it's 1043 pm. still havent changed out of the shirt i wore last night so at this point i figure i'll go for twosies.
Was cussing out our DD when one of the strippers takes him backstage. WTF
They call him magic hands is all I know.
Somethings are best left a mystery
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