i think you shook his penis after he was done peeing.
Court Ordered Rehab!!! Do you think I'll need a swimsuit?
I think that i just found proof that harry and ginny had sex
As im putting my laundry in the machine, i find a solo cup and a pong ball that i signed babe ruth
just got a girls number while on a 5 am adderall cig break this is college at its finest
Watching Blossom reruns on YouTube. Eating Pringles dipped in hot chocolate. Not taking this breakup well.
The night was going well until I found tufts of my hair in the freezer. Then I got nervous
I mean...he was throwing up for almost 3 consecutive hours. I don't think there's a chance in hell that would have tasted even close to tolerable.
We didn't want to make a pit stop so I just helped my husband pee in a bottle. No one told me this was part of love.
I don't even fuck like that, he just happened to be in the right place at the right drunk.
The blow job award ceremony was a little much. You guys didn't need to call out what happened the night before.
What? How can you say that? You won!
Let's just says his mouth writes a lot of checks that his penis just can't cash. Don't waste your time.
Do you think there are other mothers looking at porn in the carpool line?
You have a husband. I have a bag full of electronics. This, is the single life.
P.s. There are few things I love more than brand new mascara and you are one of them.
Randomize
