Can you send me a pic of you vag, I'm sexting the guy and he wants a pic but I didnt shave
dude are you serious?
I know you already have a pic on your phone
everytime she opens her mouth i wish that i was deaf
I knew he was a nice guy, because when we switched positions he flipped the mattress so I wouldn't have to lay in a pool of his sweat.
it's sunday funday. and also, who can outslut the other day.
My mom is helping me re-arrange my room to make New Year's more hook-up friendly
There is a visibable outline from you in the grass. its you in the fetal position...
I don't think casual Fridays means I can go to work with dried cum in my hair...
we went 3 years between hookups and she got a lot better. Amanda's moving way up the booty call pecking order.
so getting blacked out last night has made my lips so beautifully red for pictures today... and they say nothing good comes from alcohol
don't worry, i'm not mad. i'm just angry. and furious. and about to set your ass on fire.
Current status: so high that I'm unable to have coherent conversation with my mom, but still knew that when my dad said "shpritzy white stuff" I understood that he was trying to think of "whipped cream."
That text took me 10 minutes.
whoevers yellow car is in your driveway right now... i plan to steal. just an FYI
Dude come over...were drunk and I'm holding a T-shirt gun and discovered beer cans are the same size as rolled shirts.
My autocorrect won't finish pterodactyl for me and I'm feeling personally attacked.
Can we throw a "death to my 20s" party when I turn 30?
Sure. Funeral attire and hard liquor
Randomize
