Is it 'vaginas' or 'vaginae?'. Either way there were a shit ton of them.
I thought spray tan was a myth
?
You know, something that only happens in Jersey
omg. why did you never tell me how amazing shitting and smoking is?
i thought this knowledge was automatically promulgated at the age of eighteen?
We were making out and then he stopped and said to me, "Your ship is right there, why don't you take your people and just go?"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
How was me telling you it's my mom's birthday a go-ahead to bang my sister???
I feel like I just rode a horse, did a million jumping jacks, ran a marathon and need a carton on cigarettes. best sex hands down... EVER
You sat on a wall pretending to be a gargoyle before shouting "batman!" and jumping at me
I'm the drunk Des Moines deserves, but not the one it needs
This chick had a microhand. Fucking, like, jerking off a baby carrot would make it look like corn.
Next time someone asks you what your spirit animal is do you really want to answer the iowa state fair butter cow?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
although steph and I had 3 bottles of wine by that point and watched an opera that featured a black dildo so anything was possible really
It was Thanksgiving sex. I was thankful for it. Need I say more?
Is it bad that I'm using the photo I took for my fake ID as my linkedin profile pic?
In 18 months of being married we've had sex with 7 different couples. Who said you can't have your cake and eat it.
Remember how we use to say "this will be the year I'll get my shit together!" And like we stopped doing that because we know that isn't happening anytime soon.
He walked into the bar with a pineapple and they served him AND the pineapple
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