Ryan Ross and Jon Walker left panic at the disco today.
I predict a mass suicide of the 14 year old girl population...
I am in the hospital with a broken wrist because a guy told me that if I punched him it "wouldn't hurt." it hurt. me. Thank you 11 jello shots.
I'm drinking whiskey outta the bottle trying to earn the trust of some ducks in the yard
Why do I feel like I'm not the only one drinking to make my night class teacher look better?
Yea my vagina was pretty pissed at me for not taking advantage of the situation...
He just found another high guy at wal-mart. There now friends. His friend is eating a cupcake
He ate shrooms at 9:30, said, "see you later," and left. I am alone on New Years.
NOLA update. Went to Corey Smith at the house of blues last night. Drank PBR and took lots of shots of Jack. Too drunk, cabbed it to the hotel and fell asleep while having sex. Not my finest moment. Now I'm in court. I can't wait to be your attorney.
Running late for a date because I couldn't get my clothes out from under the dude I spent the night with in time to leave when I planned. This is my life.
In order to save time, dignity and liver damage, wanna get naked?
I have to make calls today at work. So I'm gonna call your phone and leave some random messages. Just delete them.
If you come home to me in lingerie and you start vacuuming...I need to reevaluate my priorities
I shamewalked barefoot this morning and the Dos Equis delivery guy judged the shit out of me.
I think I achieved my goal of being high for 24 hours in the same week I promised myself I wouldn't smoke anymore
she said. She was going to, and I quote, "put her vagina inside my dick".
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