we found him in the shower with a bottle of jose saying "this is Mexico's fault"
The fact you even thought licking it would fix it boggles my mind
Well it worked
Not the point
just got off the metro to throw up and got back on like it ain't no thang
really making moves this morning i see
I think it's a friendship ring and the other part is on his cats collar
I woke up this morning covered in blood and peanut butter. I am now safe from vampires with nut allergies.
Dude she broke four ribs, how does a 110 lb girl break four of my ribs during sex?! It hurts so bad but was so worth it
I keep shaking cocoa puffs out of my hair. Best Sunday Funday ever.
I felt really bad for not letting her go in, it was like we were dangling lesbians in front of her
Do not tell guys at bars about kittens you rescue. They will walk away.
Also topless tea is a thing that happens in our apartment. Ready yourself.
I don't know which is worse, the fact that his name is Kevin or the fact that he has a pornstache.
How do I say "I want to suck your balls" in a classy but sexy way,
THIS IS SO HOT. BYE PANTIES.
I'm actually pretty sure the amount of alcohol I drank last night erased memories from other times in my life.
So if you wanna come get your pants you can. But you have to come in your boxers. Rules are rules!
Randomize
