Say something about gay babies.
you left him a drunk voicemail of you singing speechless by lady gaga balling your eyes out
i want to major in coloring with an emphasis on crayons.
so finals studying is going well?
Jerry just sent me this: IOR GHIT ALL THE BUTTIB. Go get him. Now.
This is the first time since last march I'm gonna be going to a class for more reasons than wanting to bone the girl sitting next to me.
Minus the pink eye. Do I look fuckable tonight?
Whether ya want it or not, it's gonna happen. Assimilate to the gay
He made a toga out of my hot pink bed sheets and cracked an egg on his head. Then he proceeded to alphabetize our DVD collection, which was impressive because I'm 99% sure he couldn't have done that sober.
I offered him midol and told him "it always helps my period so maybe it'll help yours"
The ONLY reason I am doing laundry is because all my sweatpants are dirty.
He just used the word frick. Is that a possible red flag?
pls come tAke this super bath no romo it's just. so nice.
Your aunt just offered to blow me for a ride home....how did you end up such a prude?
it looks like a nuclear can of fuck blew up in here
Is she still on a quest to lick every stranger that enters the bar, or have the restraining orders reached critical mass?
Randomize
