I think your mom looks like a breed of donkey and elephant, but her boobs are perfect
Sometimes I find that I've been touching my boob(s) without even realizing it.
Minivans at bars can only lead to bad things.
I imagine anything that isn't a dilldo attached to a jackhammer, powered by a generator won't be amazing enough for you
Ya know, in a round about way coinstar is just a glorified vending machine for all my bad choices.
i swear, about 40% of my drunken life is spent having sex with him.
When they arrested me, they gave me a bracelet with my mugshot and info. When you get one they can be our BFF Bracelets.
There's a point around the one and a half minute mark where the keg stand goes from impressive to pathetic
I heard an explosion in the backyard. You told me you were playing "will it burn".
I want to get my vag crammed with complete loss of every bit of dignity I have left by this man from every angle on every flat surface that exists. That is all.
Fair warning, if I start singing "Kiss Me, I'm Shitfaced" at any point tomorrow, just go with it
If you got tons of KY ads on HuluPlus, it's because I hit "relevant" every time.
If I walk downstairs and Kelly is fucking in the laundry room again I'm gonna die
Oh you mean the girl that gave me a black eye when I told her I liked her fake eyelashes?
Let’s try it, I’ve never had a bad time with sex, tacos and beer.
Randomize
