Wish i knew that 10 minutes ago when i told him to dance with my blackberry while i got another drink
And Anthony pissed on himself at the strip club
For a second, I wondered if I could smoke pizza.
This just became a night full of adventures...and by adventures I mean hitting people with my car
23 Bisexuals Confess The Biggest Differences Between Dating People Of Each Sex
I may or may not be negotiating a deal of baked goods for socks...keep you posted
Mitt romney looks like a fantastic lover (full disclorsure: im 76% vodka right now)
From the same High Brittany who brought you such thoughts as, "Fuck, am I wearing shoes?" Comes High Brittany on a date! Stay tuned. This will be interesting.
you said "this ones for the homies" and proceeded to pour the shot into your other cup instead of the ground b/c "good liquor is not meant to wasted no matter the circumstances"
I vaguely recall putting a toaster in the freezer.
These 25 Ruthless Teachers Embarrassed Their Students
Dilemas of the modern woman: deciding whether or not to write on your ex's wall for his birthday. This is serious.
I mean I puked all over three separate towns last night and I still think you're the one who should reevaluate their life.
You said you liked how I put the cream cheese on.
Then you're three pancakes deep in regret.
Who looks around on a bright, sunny day and says, "you know what? Today I'm going to write gay dinosaur erotica"
why did you put a dildo on the ceiling fan
the dildo had a suction cup and we had a ceiling fan what did you expect?