Exactly. I don't do penetration on the first date. Blowjobs however are perfectly acceptable.
I encourage the greeting beej. It determines if the dick is worth keeping around.
she's got that wholesome 16 and pregnant look.
Had a drunk dream about being in a six story taco bell. Oh my god the menu was incredibleeee
He threw up in the campfire, the alcohol in his puke caught on fire. Im marrying this man
im just gonna lie here and collect money in this whoppers bag while sprawled out on this bench and explain that its to buy weed for my hangover
U took a sewing needle to his nipple
Just found a g string in our driveway, wtf happened this weekend?
When you pick me up at the airport, please have some sort of drugs on hand.
I didnt finish. My brain kept playing the duck tales theme thru the entire blow job
I just plagiarized Dr. Curtis Connor's ideology from Spider-man in an essay on genetically engineered embryos. College: academic integrity at its finest.
Well you fished my watch out of a possibly vomit filled toilet so I think we're bros now.
He's all enlightened and liberal. My next beefcake will be much more Neanderthal.
I need thought I would ever have to use the phrase "Don't fart on that Calzone".. Thanks for that
He offered to dress his dick up as Charlie Chaplin to cheer me up.
I'm so sad at the lack of dick in my life I am going to get sauced and make rice krispy treats