I'm gonna cuddle the shit out of you tomorrow
Totally smoking with fifteen year olds.
Party in the USA is so catchy!
Yea, so is AIDS.
I don't know what it is about vodka that make me ruin relationships.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I made $130 by ordering two pizzas and charging them $10 a slice. If they weren't so stoned they might have realized they could have just ordered another pizza for $20.
There's a lady lying down on the sidewalk in front of our building smoking a cig
Maybe don't sell him so much adderall next time. The other day during finals he was convinced that he could see the "molecules of life in the air" and kept reaching up slowly to grab them.
Never ever make a tattoo bet. I now have a shamrock on my dick.
Let us rub each other in fish scales and become mermaids
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If I die, sorry about rent.
Hahahahahha. You saved a homeless man. You're actually the mother Teresa of skanks.
The single life is the freaking dream dude. I'm sitting here naked, eating chocolate mousse, and watching Gilmore girls. It's wonderful
I would accept a super bowl ring as an engagement ring
Booze, boobs, blunts and batman. dude, I'm livin' the life.
I just want to get high and watch Dr. Pimple Popper.
Randomize