she's sitting on the other side of the room at this party. with her smirnoff tucked in that little opening between her cleavage and shirt. drinking from a straw. snapping her fingers off beat.
it's love
This is the LAST time i'm accepting the excuse "tequila made me do it". Even tequila thinks buying all of nickelback's itunes singles is fucking retarded
In debating whether or not it's worth getting out of bed and walking 5 feet down the hallway to go to the bathroom before I puke
He left me a five minute voicemail apologizing for chasing me with a meat beater. I'm actually not sure what that means.
You had me at "mimosas" several texts ago.
This guy punched out a light, puked in the sink, stole the mailbox, then tried to tell ME that I had to leave the party... Then his dog shit on the floor.
I am stoned at Disneyland with my little brother. It's gonna be a good day.
at any given day I am at least 60% invested in my work. today I am staggered around 3.5%
Bought a gym bag tonight. Used it to bring my Taco Bell in the house.
Please don't throw the wedding bouquet at me
I gave you chlamydia, you gave me a concussion. Now we're even.
I cannot handle Xanax... I just turned my computer on and I googled how to work YouTube
I masterbated to his instagram page. Too far or....?
You can tell by the way he cuddles that he's got mommy issues
I either have food poisoning or I'm pregnant. Either way, I NEED JESUS!
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