I can already tell this is gonna be one of those parties where we sit across the room and text about people.
I feel kinda awkward using the Sesame Street themed Google to search for hot young pussy...
Never again let me pretend to be australian for free booze.
she took her bra off and it was like the puppet strings had been dropped. her tits totally deflated.
She came back in her actual cheerleader uniform. Made a bad bj tolerable.
and lets be real... who can blow a middle school class's sunday school teacher and keep a straight face ever again? NOBODY.
Yeah I don't remember why I went to the hospital though but I just called and they have my wallet
Is it possible to just pretend that everything we did after grilling up your goldfish didn't happen?
just had Stella and stale goldfish for breakfast under the watchful eyes of an inflatable cactus and 5 llama pinatas. Cinco de mayo success!
If we can't get laid at a bar crawl, we should just quit life.
Im just using you for your dick and your superb survival skills if needed.
My booty call just moved 2 min from my house
This has pregnancy written all over it
In other news, people don't judge you when you buy a vibrator if you buy a funny birthday card and bag with it. I learned that this weekend.
Her hookup left his underwear and shorts in the dorm last night... What he was wearing when he left, we may never know.
I said I wanted pizza tattoo on my ass and the tattooist asked me what I wanted on it.
Randomize
