screw that ipod for my birthday.. i just want a weed brownie the size of my face. that's all.
but he used his one phone call to call mom and wish her happy mothers day, that's gotta count for somethin
chlamydia ends and my period begins. this isnt real life
We enjoyed our moment of partial gayness together
Dude you went around coming up behind people and whispering in their ears. I dont know what you said but they looked terrified when you left.
Wait, you seriously DON'T keep vodka in your backpack??!??!?
Would 7 layered rainbow jello shots entice you?
I never turn down an adventure. My life is like a sexual Lord of the Rings.
I've decided that buying my first unused mattress has been my first major step into real adulthood.
You ran into the tattoo shop screaming PIERCE MY TITIES
One public bathroom does not equal a wedding vow
I guess I just don't understand how the two main issues with your ex involve a cock ring and a Christmas tree
As a rule...I don't sleep with my friends or watch movies with talking dogs
If this adventure is going to get us arrested it'll have to wait until Wednesday so that I can bail myself out.
I was just at the gas station and happened to look left and see a girl blowing some guy. How was your night?
Randomize
