maybe if you didn't yell 'buh duh duh da duh da dats all folks' when you came she wouldn't have left last night
He just washed his hands with scrubbing bubbles yelling "They work hard so I don't have to!"
dude, seriously he just sucked the milk out of the dogs breast and swallowed it... for $20, wtf....?
the doctor brought back painful memories by lecturing me about your teeth marks that are still on my dick.
Bank of America: Available balance is $546.25 on 03/04/2011 for account 8428. Go online for details. TextSTOPtoStop/TextHELPforHelp
i loe djcudia fjxos rue.
That's why I don't chug things. Because when I was a freshman in college tequila came out my nose.
Well, I want to see you regardless of whether or not you will lick whipped cream off my body.
I'm having a really difficult time dealing with the fact that my dog now shares a name with Snooki's crotch-spawn.
When you put the phrases "just out of shower" and "did you get the picture" that close together, a picture of hamburger helper is not exactly what I expected to pop up.
Yeah we were on bar number 7 on our bike trail and you decided to steal my bike and we found you 20 minutes later eating Cheetos in the shallow end of your parents pool
My move is emasculating men with my superior intellect and it's not as charming when they can't see my huge rack.
I'm 2 weeks in to my all dick and carb diet and so far I've lost 2lbs.
So now I have had sex with 2 people my son graduated high school with.
On a scale from 1-10 how fucked up would it be to buy weed with my fafsa money?
It's a study aid
Wait... so you had sex and then your ear drum ruptured? I'm not sure if I want to ask if the two are related...
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