We should takd a huggy cab to snuggle bunnyville
Definitely locked eyes with the stripper who gave me a lapdance last night as she walked by me and into the Ann Taylor Loft in Times Square.
When do i get to see u next week?
When I teabag your entire family
we got our roommate high for the first time. He went into his room alone and watched Malcolm in the middle for three hours
Can you still call it a wet dream if sandwiches were involved?
Caught my drug dealer jacking off. I think this is a new step in our relationship
You know those creepy dolls that look like they are watching you from anywhere in the room? It was like that, but with his penis...
He called me on my way to the bathroom and told me he wanted to hear me pee my beers out... That. Drunk.
I need a genital shamwow being this wet.
Will keep you updated on the sexual orientation of my new guy
Stop confusing me with every girl you know that doesn't like sex.
I don't care how hot she was, she wouldn't stop singing "Shut Up and Dance", instant boner-killer.
She's Jesus crazy. And one if not more other forms of crazy. She's 2.5+ crazy.
It's a long story, but I accidentally peed on my dog. I'll tell you about it tomorrow, and we shall never tell my wife.
If you think me talking about that hot guy accepting my LinkedIn request is pornographic, I’m not sure how you’re gonna feel when I tell you I fucked a stranger on a park bench last weekend
Randomize
